Wednesday, 21 August 2013

21 August 2013


i screwed up my paper big time. i've always been good at math in secondary school, but for some reason when i came to poly, i could never ace any of my calculation modules. from stats to PACC to FAM, nothing seems to work out.

and that only leads me to think about my choice in education - if i should have pursued something different instead, like design. looking at all the business modules and what i've been doing the past 1.5 years in poly, its been a total question mark to what i'm actually doing.

1. i absolutely hate and can't stand doing biz modules, like economics, statistics, accounting and financial analysis.
2. especially in year 2, i've been doing so much designing and visuals for BDPRO and EIE. which leads to the point about studying design - come to think about it, yes now i enjoy designing stuff and coming up with work that makes me happy, but i don't trust myself and my judgement. i'm never satisfied with the work i produce, i always feel that its really ugly and not worth putting up for others to see. maybe i don't belong there in the first place at all. it may be my interest, but it may not be what i am meant to do.
3. i can't see my future. i can't see myself in 10 years time, what i'd be working as, where i'd be working. i can't see myself in university studying business. i definitely want to go to uni, but what am i gonna study? is this really the field of work i want to be doing my whole life? is this what i really enjoy?

despite all these ???? i'm facing right now, what i really want to do is just to take a freaking long break from life and school AND JUST REST. like cmon, i have 7 weeks of holiday (?!?!?!?!?) before school reopens for another hectic 6 months (think abt it, we'd be in year 3 just in 8 months time. sounds like a long time but no it's gonna be short as hell)

all i wanna do now is take this time to hang out with the people i love and haven't seen in ages, and to make use of this advantage to simply have fun. to not worry about shit and lead life the way i want to. 

(and to earn some $ to finance my shopping on TB lolwtf)

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